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A brand New World..

Since Im having major issuse with this blog Ive changed .. Follow me here please.. .


http://ratarobinette.wordpress.com/2011/09/19/hello-world/

A Open Letter to Myself

      Sometimes when I sit down to read a blog, I wonder to myself is this their authentic voice coming through the pages or are they just pretending to get a "huge Following".. Well for those of you who read this, if its anyone besides my friends, within theses pages you will find me ..
         If you look behind the screen you will find a (almost) 37yrold wife to my wonderful husband who isn't afraid to work for his family, Mother of the most  amazing young Women that you will ever have the chance to meet.. It breaks my heart that they are growing up so fast , I sit back an wonder where my babies went too.. It seems just like yesterday I was juggling  kids in the Primary school , a toddler and one on the way.. The days of sleepless nights, bottles, diapers and homework seem so far away.. But what I miss is having all my babies together and their cuddles... When I could take them into my arms and with a kiss an hug make the world right for them once again.. That the biggest pain they would ever face could be magically fixed with hugs&kisses.. Granted my life hasn't been full of rainbows and kittens.. There was a lot of pain, stress and trials to get me to where I am in my life. But there was also love for every pain, joy for every trial an peace for every moment of stress..

          For I am a Convert to "The Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints", yes I meet a 19 year old boy who changed my life forever..Who changed my family forever, for he gave me the most precious gift I could ever receive...He taught me how my family can be Eternal, how death doesn't have to separate us..He taught me that Heavenly Father loves all this children , no matter how bad we screw up.That if we have a contrite heart, ask forgiveness for my sins that the ATONEMENT is there for me ..No matter what.. There has been many missionaries come and go in my life since that fateful October day in 2008, but I still Remain close to handful of them.. I am proud to call them my family, and yes I miss them so much ..There are days that these very special souls are on my speed dial, an they always listen to me no matter how crazy I sound..Being a  convert means that I speak another language from the rest of my family and friends.. An on the days that I long for a good gospel discussion *Yes Britt.. its you Im talking about ** I know who to call.. An just talk it out without having to give a defination for every other word out of my mouth. .LOL.. :OP

For Some reason ,which I have no clue why , Heavenly Father made me with a smart mouth that has no filter.. So whatever Im thinking usually comes straight out my mouth..*not a good thing if you ticked me off LOL* Also I hate Changes, I hate letting people get close to me because I fear rejection or losing them..But on the upside if I love you .. I will love you forever ,no matter what .. I am a friend that you can call at 3am because I m still awake.. I may not have lots of money but I will give any help I can to anyone ( an that usually comes back to bite me but oh well!!)
     I am a daughter to my "origanl" parents (thats a reference from my SIster Lisa) . I have two brothers whom I love with all my heart , they may not be blood but they are from my heart so that is where it counts.. Just because you have the same blood running through your viens it doesnt make you family.. Fammily comes from our heart, your soul the connection that you feel with another.. I have another set of parents watching over me from Heaven , my baby sister is with them.. But Heavenly Father has sent me more sisters to help me get through this earth, Tara (Twit), Terra (Tigger),Ms Ash...*oh how I miss you Arizona), Ms Mollie*I need some cuddle time with your cuddle bug* ,Sweet dear Kenzie, an last but Never least my Britt * I miss our gospel conversations.. I miss you**The sad part about this list is that all of them but one live on the other coast.. Oh how I miss you.. Then I have the most amazing brother / Sister in laws that a girl could ever ask for.. You know the ones that you can run to with tears streaming down our face ,an they make it ok.. or how they stand by your side even when your marriage was falling apart at the seems.. I can never do enough to show them my love an gratiude..

   When people ask me about my Testimony I tell them I am a work in progress because I firmily beleive i will not be done learning, growing or changing until after I take my last breath here .. and not even when I take my first breathe across the veil.. I am not perfect just striving hard daily to be found worthy to return back to my father in heaven.. To be the daughter that would make him proud. to be the mother to the chidren that he blessed me with, to all be reunited in Heaven one day..

 Well enough of my rants I will be closing for now.. Until next time...



    
    

Updates in the Choas that I call my life..

       Ok in the month that I have last updated  a LOT has been going on in this crazy life I call mine.. I love my girls but our days have been filled with moving boxes, home work , band activites and running to an fro... Life is now fillled with Seminary Mornings, rushing them to the High School soon after..then picking them up in the evenings with band.. then band competions on the weekends..

     In the days of endless running and choas I miss my babies running around the house filling it with toys and chatter.. but I am also excited to be in this stage of my life. To be the Woman that Heavenly Father created me to be. To be the best wife and mother I can be.. to be the best sister ,  and friend ...

    Even though Heavenly Father took my only sister home to be with him 16yrs ago , he has giving me Many to hold my hand, to pray with me , or just to put up with my crazy rants.. An I love each and every one of them.. Yes, Tara Lynn , Terra Beth, Mollie, Ashley Hovick- LeMieux, an last but never least Mackenzie Meyer-Taylor.. I love you crazy women with all m heart , and soul.. You each have been there when I needed a shoulder to cry on, a friend to lift me up in prayer when I couldnt see for the darkness that surronded me.. Your apart of my family, my heart an will forever be..

    SO all my bright beautiful Sisters when you will you please come home and visit me.. These long-distance is killing me.. Your East Coast family needs you, to hug you and to love you.. No pressure though, i know all about lives, jobs , kids an Money.. Just know that your never alone and Im always here just a phone call or txt away...  

Ashley…

Sitting here at KDMC with Ash.. She has been through hell and back in the last two weeks.. First of all she developed an abscess, which I am no stranger too.. It was caused by her sugars being too high..Then after the surgery to remove the infection in he abscess she developed the Flesh Eating Bacteria Virus on top of septic..

I know that without the blessing she was given by our full-time missionaries that we have currently serving in our ward. I know without a shadow of a doubt she was closer to the veil than she was here.. I thank Heavenly Father everyday for restoring the Priesthood power to the Earth..

Now she has two blood clots in her right arm, an one in left arm.. She is also in the beginning stages of kidney failure. But I know through the power of prayer and the loving grace of our Heavenly Father He can bring her through this and anything else in her way from a full recovery..

So right now I am currently taking the Night shift at the hospital so her Mom and Dad can sleep.. Her other family members can take the time during the day.. I am not complaining a bit, I love her so much .. I can remember her being a baby sitting on Mom Gibbs knee.. Hearing her say “Run Petey Run..” oh .. how the memories have flooded my mind of Mom and Dad Gibbs as of lately.. I wish  I could hear their precious voices once again..But on the other hand I am so glad they are not here watching their granddaughter go through this hell .. So as I close with a final thought I am asking you to pray for my niece… Whether you believe in a higher power or not.. she can use all the prayers , love and positive support her way..

Another School Year…

Oh my in less than 24 hours my babies will be officially high school students..Where has the time gone, it feels like yesterday that they were toddlers running around my feet.. now they are beautiful independent women..

As of in the morning I will have a sophomore and a freshman at RUSSELL HIGH SCHOOL.. oh my oh my I  am feeling rather old today.. Well the back packs are bought, filled with school supplies(papers and pens) , their shoes are bought..now its time to find that “right” outfit to wear.. then off to school in the am..

Happy Birthday Baby Sister..

Today you were born upon this earth, you were truly and angel that existed on this earth for the brief years you graced us with your love and presence. I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and talk to with you for I would never want to bring you here for where you are you are truly free in the presence of our Heavenly Father.. I wish I could hear your sweet laughter once again but I know I will one day.. and on that day that we are reunited we will never have to part again. I know your watching over me and my girls from the beautiful skies above.

I can still remember seeing your beautiful smile in September when I was in a coma. I felt no fear just love, peace and acceptance. I so wanted to just to be able to hold you in my arms once again , but you stopped me that’s when I remembered my beautiful girls . .. and what my loss would mean to them.. I thank you for that.. for without them I don’t know where I would be..

Baby Sister I just want you to know how much I love you.. I know if you were still with us you would have a been a very distinguished doctor prolly with a million babies running around.. So many people are still stuck in 1995 with you , your so loved and missed.. Danny and Amy became medical professionals because of you.. Because of you Nancy was able to move on find love, and become such and amazing artists.. Your friends that have children now take them to meet you to tell them WHY not to drink an drive.. Oh My if you could see Alana Gail now, shes not a baby anymore but a beautiful amazing woman… Oh how much I love an miss you sissy.. This is not a goodbye its until I'm with you again..