Saturday, March 19, 2011

safe... lol...


Happy Birthday Natasha

Current mood:blessed
Twelve Years ago today at 9:15 am this morning my baby Natasha La Dawn was born !! Happy Birthday Taz Mommy and Daddy Love you

Current mood:
. ok .. But they are more than Missionaries to me they are my FRIENDS ... my family... I miss them dearly...  We stared out with Elder Taylor, Elder Tinney.. Then Elder Jenson came in when we had the six week cycles.. I dont think its fair that they could leave every six weeks... I mean we are making LIFE CHANGING choices here.. I NEED people that I trust.. and  every six weeks they could leave.. I know its thier mission to help people.. and i know that the mission president prays about it..but I have TRUST issuses!!!! An when I learn to Trust someone.. and they take them away it HURTS .. it really freaking hurts.. Its Killing me that ELder Taylor Left.. Elder Jenson ..Sister Jones.. I mean it wasnt soo bad when Sister Holbrook left because she was going home.. and I could call her and have some contact.. It hurts to get to care for them and then they are gone and I have not a clue where they are.. I feel like they are a part of my family.. they are apart of my soul. .they started helping me change my life..my family..they gave us a chance to be together forever...and now they're gone.. I feel lost and alone .. i know that i have other friends..but damn there are things that I cant talk to them about without them thinking I am crazy.. Life is crazy ..Life is a huge cycle..and sometimes i feel like im on an endless nightmare!!
10:38 PM

I am so thankful for my .....

    Friends and Family...
Some of my friends are more family to me than my actual family.. I feel so lucky to know that I have friends I could call in the middle of the night and they would answer... In an emergency , we are not alone.. that is a true blessing.. Some I have known a lifetime and others I have known only a few years.. But I love each an every one of you.. If I have to tell you who you are then we've got a problem LOL!!!
Speaking of my friends ... Annie and I had a great weekend together in LEXINGTON.. (Cant wait to go back girly.!!! and explore the things we had to miss) LOL.. it was pretty awesome to leave the men and the kids at home and just have a girls night out!! and to get away.. love it..  Maybe next time we can Drag Crys with us.. LOL .. LORD GIRL could you imagine us in LEX... alone.. we would rule the world.. LOL,,, Dinner was awesome.. and the HOTEL was  Amazing!! we have to go back there.. the beds were heavenly( I must buy one of those tempra beds.. ) and Hustlers of Hollywood was an experiance..
Ok .. enough of my weekend with Annie... I ll blog later .. love ya all!!!


"POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME !! LOL@"
3:05 PM

  •  

    Rest in Peace Heath...

    Current mood:angry
    It's came my time to add my thoughts on the devestating news that has rocked our world.. It was reported days ago that Heath Ledger was found dead in his New York Apartment. I devestaed me, did I know him personally, the answer is no.. But He touched my life just the same.. I would watch any movie that had him in it. Just because he would be on the screen.. I loved the Patriot, Knights Tale, but my most favorite movie is BROKEBACK Mountain, not because I am gay and it spoke to me.. TO me that movies Symbolizes love at its best and worst of times.. It followed the screenplay wonderfully.. I felt the attraction, the feelings of giving in .. and fighting your feelings for all your worth.. His emotions transsends the screen.. he was more than an actor he was a son, nephew, a lover , a friend and more importantly he was a father.. May his daughter always now the love he felt for her.. more importantly may we stop the gossip, stop the lies.. let his family grieve in peace..
    I know the world was a better place because he lived in it..
    He may be gone ..but never forgotten... 6:56 PM 

    Heather Renee     I totally agree with you! I loved his movies, BROKEBACK and KNIGHTS TALE were just awsome! And the way that he looked and talked about his daughter you could tell how much he loved her! We all need to be more aware of the dangers of mixing medicine even if it is prescribed for you.                           

    2 years ago



    •  

      Schools not soo bad..

      Current mood:cooky/wacky
      AT LEAST WHEN YOU CAN HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS..
      I came into school 2 day to hang out with ANNIE and CRYS.. in between thier classes.. its soo cool.. I mean I know they would do anything for me. .and  I think GOD daily for my FRIENDS .. I would be soo lost without them.. So basically this blog is a great way too say THANKS GIRLS!! I LOVE YOU AND WOULD BE LOST WITHOUT YOU...
      10:52 AM

      • Annie Tilsley adams     yes i would do anything for you. I love you too.
      Posted by at No comments:

      Around the Time the Missionaries came into our lives.. Should be safe ..

    • A wedding to remember....

      Current mood:ecstatic
      Life changes soo quickly, but in the end some things do remain the same ... LOL.. Charles and I was remarried 2day at one o'clock at the church we've been attending.. a small but yet nice cermony.. Crys and the Sisters... held a beautiful reception... It was nice to know that we were loved and supported... pictures will follow as soon as i can download them.. ( I am old and tired.. LOL) Alana and Sa-Rai gave me way while Natasha and Aria was my brides maids.. Crys and Jason (Crys Hubby ) were are matron of honor and best men.. Thank annie for the Pics.. my wonderful photographer.. just wanted to share with you our friends
      this song kinda fits so ..
      FROM THIS MOMENT ON (Shania Twain)
      (I do swear that I'll always be there. 
      I'd give anything, and everything. And I will always care. 
      Through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow. 
      For better for worse, I will love you 
      With every beat of my heart.)  
      From this moment life has begun 
      From this moment you are the one 
      Right beside you is where I belong 
      From this moment on  
      From this moment I have been blessed 
      I live only for your happiness 
      And for your love I'd give my last breath 
      From this moment on  
      I give my hand to you with all my heart 
      I can't wait to live my life with you, I can't wait to start 
      You and I will never be apart 
      My dreams came true because of you  
      From this moment as long as I live 
      I will love you, I promise you this 
      There is nothing I wouldn't give 
      From this moment on  
      You're the reason I believe in love 
      And you're the answer to my prayers from up above 
      All we need is just the two of us 
      My dreams came true because of you  
      From this moment as long as I live 
      I will love you, I promise you this 
      There is nothing I wouldn't give 
      From this moment on 
      I will love you as long as I live 
      From this moment on  

      10:33 PM


      Heather Renee     I would have been there had I been invited =( miss u so much!  CONGRAT!!!!!
       

      Bringing in the NEW YEAR.... Robinette Style....

      Current mood:sleepy
      Charles, the Girls and I went to church for a little while this evening for a going a way party :( .. it was fun to see everyone one and "hang out" then we went to Little Ceasears ...( I love the drive through option)
      We came home , I made Mom Gibbs Punch ()Charles  put in a movie for all of us to watch.. the Rat Cooking food in Paris.. you know the one.. it was cute.. LOL while we had dinner...

      Then we all playd pictionary as a family.. it was fun to divide up into teams, After wards alana went to lay down (shes not feeling well.. ) then we watched a movie until it was time to do the ball countdown.. then we left off poppers, confeddi everywhere.... and of course I got my New Years Kiss... so i guess im boring you but to all my friends and family.. have a SAFE, happy and wonderful year..
      All our love....
      2:06 AM



      • heather Renee     sounds pefect     
                            

      Dont BLINK .. Read  the lyrics if you havent heard it.. OMG!!!

      Current mood:drained
      Don't Blink

      I turned on the evening news
      Saw an old man being interviewed
      Turning a hundred and two today
      Asked him what's the secret to life
      He looked up from his old pipe
      Laughed and said "All I can say is ."

      Don't Blink
      Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
      Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
      Don't blink
      You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
      Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your "Your better half"
      Of fifty years is there in bed
      And you're praying God takes you instead
      Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
      don't blink

      I was glued to my tv when it looked like he looked at me and said
      "Best start putting first things first."
      Cause when your hour glass runs out of sand
      You can't flip it over and start again
      Take every breathe God gives you for what it's worth

      Don't Blink
      Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
      Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
      Don't blink
      You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
      Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your "better half"
      Of fifty years is there in bed
      And you're praying God takes you instead
      Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
      don't blink

      So I've been tryin' ta slow it down
      I've been tryin' ta take it in
      In this here today, gone tomorrow world we're livin' in

      Don't blink
      Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
      Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
      Don't blink
      You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
      Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your "better half"
      Of fifty years is there in bed ***
      And you're praying God takes you instead
      Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster then you think
      Don't blink

      No, don't blink
      dont blink
      life goes faster than you think!
      so dont blink
      life goes faster than you think!
      dont blink
      dont blink

      the only thing that i disagree with is the ** and i think it sounds like when you mate of 50 yrs is nearing death and you pray that GOD takes you instead...
      7:54 AM

      Catch Up

      Current mood:bitchy
          Ok Guys,
      I guess its time for me to play catch up.. Life has been hetic and crazy for me ... School is winding down at least for now.. MT 150 (College Algebra) is killing me and driving me up a wall...
      I have been pretty sick..then my youngest had strep throat.. then my baby has been sick and trying to quit smoking so you could imagine the JOY of being me... LOL
      i am absolutly in love with Kenny Chesneys New CD... i love the song Dont Blink it makes me cry or almost.. LOL...
      My oldest daughter is in ROTC at Russell.. Talk about the memories.. i just hope she finds the comfort and friends that i had when i was there.. She will be 16 in March.. Where the hell did all the time go?
      I pray everyday for the freaking WAR to end ..before we loose any more lifes in this senseless mess that our lovely goverment has thrown us into.. (allen I m keeping you in my thoughts daily) and all those whom are there i dont know..
      ok i know ..thats a little random for even me.. but as you see while im writing this im fighting to stay awake while my children get ready for school since the pain in my body has kept sleep away.. so the NEWS is on !! mainly to watch the weather.. but anyway...
      For all of you whom i havent physically seen or spoken to in a while ( either via telephone, email or internet .. or even in person) I miss you my friends... i hope all is well for you.. take care.. and if you ever need someone i am here (Heather thats for you too... SOrry about all you have had to endure..) Call me .. you should have my cell if not ill give it you too 606-465-6294
      ok i am off here to get the kids a moving... love ya all
      Rata
      Posted by at No comments:

      language may be somewhat offensive to others but it is true emotion..


      TO MY BEAUTIFUL SISTER...

      Current mood:melancholy
      Ok , Peoples... I am in the most reflective mood .. I guess its because it was30 Years ago (8th Aug 77) that Lisa La Dawn , my beautiful sister was born in to this world..For those of you who knew her, knew the wonderful light that she brought into this world. How her smile and laughter would light up the room, yet each year with the celebration of her birth, of her life, the vast cold reminder of how much we have lost is slammed into my face and heart.
      For just three days after she turned 18 on (11 Aug 95) she was taken in a drinking and driving accident.That accident permantly changed my family forever, it changed our lives our hearts and souls.... She may be gone but there are reminders from her that I find in my life daily. I see her actions in my children who two of them never meet her... In her friends memories she lives on.. Her best friend named her daughter after her.. I named my daughter after her.. in a way she has became immortal.. for as long as we are living, loving, her she isnt gone.. she is still with us... and in my heart she is protecting my children when I cant..

      Enought of my ranting.. I'll let you go... take care .. love ya.. all..

      and
                                         HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA LADAWN STEVENS
                                           8-8-77- 8-11-95
      6:19 AM



      Jason & Crys     *HUG*                           

      4 years ago



      •  

        My Babys Birthday...

        Current mood:loved
        hey people today my baby turned 10... this is the baby that wasnt suppose to live 12 hrs... im soo glad but in some warped way im sad.. sad that my baby is slowing losing her childhood and turning into a teenager on me.. Hell . thats all i need another teenager...  but i happy that shes a lively happy person.. so SA-RAI ...Happy Birthday ..mommy and daddy loves u!!!
        11:00 PM

        • Happiness is... a CHOICE!!!!!

        Current mood:nostalgic
        " for a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin- real life.but there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished buisness, time still to be served, a debt to be paid, at last it dawned upon me that these obstacles were my life this perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness.. happiness is the way..so treasure every moment you have and remeber that time awaits for noone..HAPPINESS IS A JOURNEY, NOT A DESINATION...(souza)"

        I guess what I am trying to say is that in this life there is no "do-overs" we get one chance to live our life to the fullest.. an yet many of us our still living our life for someone else.. loving someone (or in reality) dying day by day because the "people" in our life said that this was the way to happiness.. how many times to we make a choice, a decison  then half way through it we find out how wrong it was , or how bad it truly sucks... then we stick to it...not out of love but out of fear.. out of not wanting to Disappoint the people in our lives.. Well .. thats all well and good ..but when it comes down to taking our final breathe ... we will be the only one with the "instant replay" of our life...we will be the only one with regrets.. SO take it from me and live your life by your own rules..by your own Choices... love ya all...
        1:35 AM



        Jason & Crys     HOORAAH                           

        4 years ago




          ALANA IS SICK ....

          Current mood:crushed
              Ok .. I am midly freaking out..but Alana and I have been to the ER most the night due to the potassium levels in her blood being too low...that caused her to pass out.. AT least that is what they are telling me .. but this is a kid who has seizures and two strokes in the last two years....not addin in the complex migraines and the depression from the strokes andthe long term illness..
          they check her blood levels regularly because of certain meds shes on an never a problem b4...but yet there is one now..we are not hopsitalized yet but that is till something that COULD happen considering all of this affects her sezuires and migraines...

          I know im ranting but when my kids get sick (espically this one) I fall a part , i loose it..so everyone that cares ..please send us postive thoughts , prayers , healing... is what we need.. I ll try to keep you all posted but right as i type this shes lying asleep in my bed with a complex seziure/ migraine... and reverted back to a 3 yr old... so my life is very choatic to say the least ..plus i have a HUD inspection in the morning that if i dont PASS ill loose my HUD.. and it cant be rescheduled no matter what...
          so again sorry about the rant... but.. im offically loosing it.. (Sorry Lynda if i got u into trouble  ... i love u ) ...
          9:20 AM

          Rata Lynn Stevens- Robi…ok.. just wanted to play catch up.. right now..ALANA is doing good health wise.. she is currently getting ready for HARRY POTTER world wind to start.. with the release of the 5th movie and the LAST book.. keep is in your thoughs and prayers..                           

          4 years ago

          MT 122 HELL ...

          Current mood:ecstatic
          MT 122 HELL IS OVER !! I PASSED IT!!!!
          Posted by at No comments:

          language may be somewhat offensive to others but it is true emotion..

          A Fun Filled Family day

          Current mood:sleepy
          Well today was Easter... and i spent alot of it waitnig in line to go to dinner with my inlaws... It was thier idea to eat at GREENBO LODGE AN RESORT!!! It was soo choatic... but the meal was good.. then me and my honey came back home an took a nap ..since the kids were still with the inlaws.. (they went to church) in the evening.. Last night was one of the first nights we had alone time.. without any kids.. usually its the teenager but even she was gone.. i will tell u when u have been raising kids for soo long u dont know how to behave when they are gone.. but it was nice just to lay here and watch tv.. cook if i wanted too .. just nice alone and quiet time.. Damn i love my life..(atleast today)
          9:39 AM

        • Define a Friend...

          Current mood:pensive
          Is a friend someone who has known you forever?? Is a friend someone who you can call in the middle of the night as your world falls apart.. Is a friend going to always be there for you no matter how many miles your apart or no matter how long ago it was since you last spoke?? We recieve a lot of Forwarded emails daily on the subject of friends.. But do we even understand the defination of "Friends" .
          I have had some of my Friends for over half my life.. and thats pretty amazing since I am in my thirties.. There are some of my friends that stood by me thorugh the storms of life..an yet there are some whom I've just meet.  I know what I want in a friend. I want someone who will ALWAYS be honest with me , even if I dont want to hear it.. I want someone who I can trust my innermost thoughts too, and I want someone who will stand by me when the world is dark and grey. I want someone who would literally stand by myside even If i was going through the deepest darkest pits of HELL...
          For i would do the same for you.. I expect nothing out of a friend that I am not willing to give of myself.. I know life gets busy, and we barely have enough time for our family but I think we need to make time for the people in our lives that we love and tell them..because one day we may not get that chance. I know at times you can feel abandoned from your friends because they are so busy or they have other friends but lets not be acting like a bunch of middle schoolers. I firmly believe that people come and go as we walk our paths and they are brought into your life we you need them the most.. I may not have talked to you my dear friends as often as i would like but i do love and cherish each of you.. As a friend once told me " Take the memories of our time together and wrap them around you like a giant cocoon , when our paths stray in life" *Ja Eric . I may have totally screwed that one up .. but you told me that long ago an I still live by it****
          SO I guess I will quit ranting about and try to find sleep.. Just take my musing to heart , think about how its applied to each of our lives.. is there something you would want to change before its too late??? Some of you I Havent seen in years, years but i love you as much today as i did when we spoke everyday. For you shared a very special part of my life and I will never forget that or you!!! Until next time..
           

          Happy Birthday Baby...

          Current mood:happy
          Ok.. she's not a baby an would kill me for saying so but anyway shes my baby an always will be.. For those of you who know me in the "real" world...MY oldest turns 15 day... cant believe that she that old .. and Damn do I really feel old now.. 
          3:48 PM


          • Calendar.....

          8:23 PM
          Posted by at No comments:

          Friday, March 18, 2011

          language may be somewhat offensive to others but it is true emotion..

          Spring Break and Friends..

          Current mood:relaxed
          One of my dearest friends and I went to the YMCA yesterday.. we hung out in the pool an HOT TUB.. it was like  75 degrees yesterday and it was nice.. I really loved spending time with my friend.. i dont know what i would do without them right now.. Its almost 8 oclock in the morning, raining like cats an dogs outside and 63 degrees out side. .IM READY for spring !!! Lets go.. no more cold or snow.. well enough ranting about the weather.. Im gonna go back to sleep while i can.. i couldnt get to sleep until like 4 am and had to get hte girls up at 6 am.. nite nitey people...
          7:55 AM
          Heather Renee     Hey there, give me a shout, things have calmed down here, thought about going to the YMCA yesterday too! lol! Me and my neice were going to go. Miss you like crazy!                           

          3 years ago

          Fibromyalgia Pain:the power behind words...

          mood:nauseatedFor those of you out there who know me well know that this is someithing Ive been battling forever... and im getting tired.. There are times when this is liveable , you almost forget its there.. Its like it goes into hiding..and your life is yours again to live.. BUT suddenly it SMACKS you in the head and its back full force.. full of vengence and fury.. for years I have been told it was all in my head.. but who the hell wants to be in constant pain,, who in thier right mind would want to be hyper sentive to clothing, heat or touch... Somethings that feel good tonite might kill me tomorrow...and now the experts say "But after reviewing the research, Richard E. Harris, PhD, and Daniel J. Clauw, MD, write that it is increasingly clear that fibromyalgia is a central nervous system disorder and that patients experience hypersensitivity to pain. There also appears to be a fairly strong genetic component to fibromyalgia and related conditions.
          "It is time for us to move past the rhetoric about whether these conditions are real, and take these patients seriously as we endeavor to learn more about the causes and most effective treatments for these disorders," Harris and Clauw write in the December issue of the journal Current Pain and Headache Reports."
          Let them walk a mile in my shoes.. and then maybe they will find a solution that is half way liveable.. The weekly injecttions of B 12 that are suppose to help and at times it does and other times its like injecting water... (BTW I REALLY HATE NEEDLES!!!!) as i lay here wishing for sleep ... but it hurts to much to try .. so then i decieded to set up an talk to you my dear friends.. im not whining really, i realize that i could have stopped breathing this morining ..that life could always get worse.. but i miss being able to lay down and go to sleep an not feel pain.. i miss not having my legs move unless i want them too.. i miss the days when i didnt have to care about how the bedding felt agaisnt my skin or if i have enough pillows in the bed to help easy the pain.. but i have faith that one day i will find that me again...
          3:10 AM
          Heather Renee     I have been suffering with it for over 9 yrs........some good days and some bad days......I take more medicine than the pharmacy! I feel with you, people just dont understand unless they have it too!                           

          PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON

          Current mood:crushed
                     this came from my aunt
          PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON
          I am sending this to you to see how many actually read their email. Your response will be interesting. Pay attention to what you read. After you have finished reading it, you will know the reason it was sent to you. Here goes:
          ..    People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on. 

          ..  Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.!

          ..
          Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
          ..Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

          ..Send this to every friend that you have on-line, including the person who sent it to you.
          0 Replies - you may need to work on your "people skills"
          2 Replies - you are nice but probably need to be more outgoing
          4 Replies - you have picked your friends well
          6 Replies - you are downright popular
          8 Replies or More - you are totally awesome (and that's probably why you're on MY list)
          I wonder what mine will be.

          10:11 Am Terra ValentineWow There have been so many times that we have relied on each other and I know that now we are still close but we have both been so busy with all that the world has thrown at us lately and we truely need to get back to being there for each other!!! love you and always will  3 years ago

          what defines marriage????

          Current mood:thoughtful
          What defines a marriage.. Is it a ceremony, a religous event or is it the love and commitment that brought two souls together? In my honest opionion everyone is this world should have the right to love whom they love, and have thier lives entwined forever. Whether they choose a ceremony , a piece of paper doesnt make a family... But whom am I to say that your family is better or worse than mine? It s not for me to judge who you love as long as they complete you...
          Several of my friends are in very loving, committed relationships .... with the same sex.. does that make it wrong or immoral??? NOT in my beliefs.. I am soo happy for them that they were able to find love in this fucked up world. I am grateful that theses beatiful souls has found someone to complete them. the other half to thier soul.. That is what is important!!!
          Am I married?? I feel married.. yes at one point in time i went for the relgious ceremony... the piece of paper..but did that make a commitment?? Did that keep me safe from heartache.. NO.. all it did was cost me years of legal battles... because of lies... lies once destroyed my family, my marriage... It took a long time , alot of growin up to get where we are at tonight.. i love him with all my heart... and i know without a shadow of doubt that he loves me.. .Our children and him our my soul.. they are my world.. do i need that piece of paper making him mine in the eyes of the world.. NO not really... i need the commitment, the love that we share.. everything after that is just icing on the cake...s
          sometimes we get soo caught up in rituals , ceremonies and " what is right" we forget the lives and hearts of the people involved. We forget that we are all one human race, that if you cut us we bleed... On the last couple of months i have watched a family that i dearly love fight for its surivial.. a marriage fall apart out of greed.... lives were nearly destroyed and yet they have fought back and won!!! they are stronger than ever and indestructable... Does a mother and father and children define a family? Not nessarliy in my book a family is defiend out of love... A family protects its members from the world, a family loves uncondiontionally , a family will hold you up in the time of darkness, a family is always there for you without judgement and reserve. A family is created by a bond whether that family is a woman, man and children , or two awesome guys ...thats your choice.. its your choice whom you love not mine.. know that i am here if you want to talk.. without judgement.. but always in love..
          Posted by at No comments:

          OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE IS INVOLVED IN THE WRITING PROCESS ...(but that who i was back then..)

          1/18/07 School is in Session

          Current mood:busy
          Hey guys ,
          Just when I thought my life wouldnt, or couldnt get any crazier... SCHOOL for me is in full swing again. I contemplated not attending this semseter . But no matter how crazy my life gets it grounds me , my classes are something i can control and ofcourse there is my friends there.
          So my schedule is as follows on Mon an Wed:  Intro to Social Work
                                                                                 Junievele Deliquency
                                                            Tues an Thurs : Intro to Philosphy a
                                                    Modern Social Problems ( thats the secound phase of Socialogy that i took last semester. )
                                                          Crazy i know .. but I love it. .an three of my classes have a web assisted incased with them so i turn in all my assignments online , which makes it easier for me since I have angie and Alana's Medical issuses to try to control.. I know i m a control freak..
          Everything is doing awesome for my family, Angie is steadily improving.. its in small doses but atleast we are winning the battle now.. the Kids are getting along more like brothers and sisters now than cousins.. i dont know if thats a good thing or not.. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers thou.. I love ya all .. Sorry for the ramblings..

          i am loved..... or just.......

          Current mood:grateful
          Hey guys,
          i am loved, and highly spoilt by the man in my life.. for those of you who know us.. He bought me a Ford Explorer that i was die for in October  for my birthday.. and i got Sirus for an early present with it...
          An this weekend he bought me a new RAZOR cellphone with blue tooth head set.. since im having to travel so much... * I love that man!!** he spoils me rotten.. oh well enough braggin on my baby...  i know noone cares but me.. but i think when someone treats you well they should be thank'd and this is as big of a THANK YOU and i could Think of ...
          THANKS BABY.. LOVE U

          UPDATE ...

          Current mood:excited
          OK GUYS,
          Just wanted to UPDATE you all on my aunt , She's still in ICU but not in crtitical conditon. They have taken her off the paryaltical drug, an she may be off the vent by this weekend.. So keep on praying or whatever you choose to do.. SHE has came a long way yet there is still a long way to go.. Since Im juggling her life, my own and school keep the good thoughts flowing for me too... LOVE ya all..
          Posted by at No comments:
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          Saturday, March 19, 2011

          safe... lol...


          Happy Birthday Natasha

          Current mood:blessed
          Twelve Years ago today at 9:15 am this morning my baby Natasha La Dawn was born !! Happy Birthday Taz Mommy and Daddy Love you

          Current mood:
          . ok .. But they are more than Missionaries to me they are my FRIENDS ... my family... I miss them dearly...  We stared out with Elder Taylor, Elder Tinney.. Then Elder Jenson came in when we had the six week cycles.. I dont think its fair that they could leave every six weeks... I mean we are making LIFE CHANGING choices here.. I NEED people that I trust.. and  every six weeks they could leave.. I know its thier mission to help people.. and i know that the mission president prays about it..but I have TRUST issuses!!!! An when I learn to Trust someone.. and they take them away it HURTS .. it really freaking hurts.. Its Killing me that ELder Taylor Left.. Elder Jenson ..Sister Jones.. I mean it wasnt soo bad when Sister Holbrook left because she was going home.. and I could call her and have some contact.. It hurts to get to care for them and then they are gone and I have not a clue where they are.. I feel like they are a part of my family.. they are apart of my soul. .they started helping me change my life..my family..they gave us a chance to be together forever...and now they're gone.. I feel lost and alone .. i know that i have other friends..but damn there are things that I cant talk to them about without them thinking I am crazy.. Life is crazy ..Life is a huge cycle..and sometimes i feel like im on an endless nightmare!!
          10:38 PM

          I am so thankful for my .....

              Friends and Family...
          Some of my friends are more family to me than my actual family.. I feel so lucky to know that I have friends I could call in the middle of the night and they would answer... In an emergency , we are not alone.. that is a true blessing.. Some I have known a lifetime and others I have known only a few years.. But I love each an every one of you.. If I have to tell you who you are then we've got a problem LOL!!!
          Speaking of my friends ... Annie and I had a great weekend together in LEXINGTON.. (Cant wait to go back girly.!!! and explore the things we had to miss) LOL.. it was pretty awesome to leave the men and the kids at home and just have a girls night out!! and to get away.. love it..  Maybe next time we can Drag Crys with us.. LOL .. LORD GIRL could you imagine us in LEX... alone.. we would rule the world.. LOL,,, Dinner was awesome.. and the HOTEL was  Amazing!! we have to go back there.. the beds were heavenly( I must buy one of those tempra beds.. ) and Hustlers of Hollywood was an experiance..
          Ok .. enough of my weekend with Annie... I ll blog later .. love ya all!!!


          "POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME !! LOL@"
          3:05 PM

        •  

          Rest in Peace Heath...

          Current mood:angry
          It's came my time to add my thoughts on the devestating news that has rocked our world.. It was reported days ago that Heath Ledger was found dead in his New York Apartment. I devestaed me, did I know him personally, the answer is no.. But He touched my life just the same.. I would watch any movie that had him in it. Just because he would be on the screen.. I loved the Patriot, Knights Tale, but my most favorite movie is BROKEBACK Mountain, not because I am gay and it spoke to me.. TO me that movies Symbolizes love at its best and worst of times.. It followed the screenplay wonderfully.. I felt the attraction, the feelings of giving in .. and fighting your feelings for all your worth.. His emotions transsends the screen.. he was more than an actor he was a son, nephew, a lover , a friend and more importantly he was a father.. May his daughter always now the love he felt for her.. more importantly may we stop the gossip, stop the lies.. let his family grieve in peace..
          I know the world was a better place because he lived in it..
          He may be gone ..but never forgotten... 6:56 PM 

          Heather Renee     I totally agree with you! I loved his movies, BROKEBACK and KNIGHTS TALE were just awsome! And the way that he looked and talked about his daughter you could tell how much he loved her! We all need to be more aware of the dangers of mixing medicine even if it is prescribed for you.                           

          2 years ago



          •  

            Schools not soo bad..

            Current mood:cooky/wacky
            AT LEAST WHEN YOU CAN HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS..
            I came into school 2 day to hang out with ANNIE and CRYS.. in between thier classes.. its soo cool.. I mean I know they would do anything for me. .and  I think GOD daily for my FRIENDS .. I would be soo lost without them.. So basically this blog is a great way too say THANKS GIRLS!! I LOVE YOU AND WOULD BE LOST WITHOUT YOU...
            10:52 AM

            • Annie Tilsley adams     yes i would do anything for you. I love you too.
            Posted by at No comments:

            Around the Time the Missionaries came into our lives.. Should be safe ..

          • A wedding to remember....

            Current mood:ecstatic
            Life changes soo quickly, but in the end some things do remain the same ... LOL.. Charles and I was remarried 2day at one o'clock at the church we've been attending.. a small but yet nice cermony.. Crys and the Sisters... held a beautiful reception... It was nice to know that we were loved and supported... pictures will follow as soon as i can download them.. ( I am old and tired.. LOL) Alana and Sa-Rai gave me way while Natasha and Aria was my brides maids.. Crys and Jason (Crys Hubby ) were are matron of honor and best men.. Thank annie for the Pics.. my wonderful photographer.. just wanted to share with you our friends
            this song kinda fits so ..
            FROM THIS MOMENT ON (Shania Twain)
            (I do swear that I'll always be there. 
            I'd give anything, and everything. And I will always care. 
            Through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow. 
            For better for worse, I will love you 
            With every beat of my heart.)  
            From this moment life has begun 
            From this moment you are the one 
            Right beside you is where I belong 
            From this moment on  
            From this moment I have been blessed 
            I live only for your happiness 
            And for your love I'd give my last breath 
            From this moment on  
            I give my hand to you with all my heart 
            I can't wait to live my life with you, I can't wait to start 
            You and I will never be apart 
            My dreams came true because of you  
            From this moment as long as I live 
            I will love you, I promise you this 
            There is nothing I wouldn't give 
            From this moment on  
            You're the reason I believe in love 
            And you're the answer to my prayers from up above 
            All we need is just the two of us 
            My dreams came true because of you  
            From this moment as long as I live 
            I will love you, I promise you this 
            There is nothing I wouldn't give 
            From this moment on 
            I will love you as long as I live 
            From this moment on  

            10:33 PM


            Heather Renee     I would have been there had I been invited =( miss u so much!  CONGRAT!!!!!
             

            Bringing in the NEW YEAR.... Robinette Style....

            Current mood:sleepy
            Charles, the Girls and I went to church for a little while this evening for a going a way party :( .. it was fun to see everyone one and "hang out" then we went to Little Ceasears ...( I love the drive through option)
            We came home , I made Mom Gibbs Punch ()Charles  put in a movie for all of us to watch.. the Rat Cooking food in Paris.. you know the one.. it was cute.. LOL while we had dinner...

            Then we all playd pictionary as a family.. it was fun to divide up into teams, After wards alana went to lay down (shes not feeling well.. ) then we watched a movie until it was time to do the ball countdown.. then we left off poppers, confeddi everywhere.... and of course I got my New Years Kiss... so i guess im boring you but to all my friends and family.. have a SAFE, happy and wonderful year..
            All our love....
            2:06 AM



            • heather Renee     sounds pefect     
                                  

            Dont BLINK .. Read  the lyrics if you havent heard it.. OMG!!!

            Current mood:drained
            Don't Blink

            I turned on the evening news
            Saw an old man being interviewed
            Turning a hundred and two today
            Asked him what's the secret to life
            He looked up from his old pipe
            Laughed and said "All I can say is ."

            Don't Blink
            Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
            Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
            Don't blink
            You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
            Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your "Your better half"
            Of fifty years is there in bed
            And you're praying God takes you instead
            Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
            don't blink

            I was glued to my tv when it looked like he looked at me and said
            "Best start putting first things first."
            Cause when your hour glass runs out of sand
            You can't flip it over and start again
            Take every breathe God gives you for what it's worth

            Don't Blink
            Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
            Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
            Don't blink
            You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
            Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your "better half"
            Of fifty years is there in bed
            And you're praying God takes you instead
            Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
            don't blink

            So I've been tryin' ta slow it down
            I've been tryin' ta take it in
            In this here today, gone tomorrow world we're livin' in

            Don't blink
            Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
            Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
            Don't blink
            You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
            Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your "better half"
            Of fifty years is there in bed ***
            And you're praying God takes you instead
            Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster then you think
            Don't blink

            No, don't blink
            dont blink
            life goes faster than you think!
            so dont blink
            life goes faster than you think!
            dont blink
            dont blink

            the only thing that i disagree with is the ** and i think it sounds like when you mate of 50 yrs is nearing death and you pray that GOD takes you instead...
            7:54 AM

            Catch Up

            Current mood:bitchy
                Ok Guys,
            I guess its time for me to play catch up.. Life has been hetic and crazy for me ... School is winding down at least for now.. MT 150 (College Algebra) is killing me and driving me up a wall...
            I have been pretty sick..then my youngest had strep throat.. then my baby has been sick and trying to quit smoking so you could imagine the JOY of being me... LOL
            i am absolutly in love with Kenny Chesneys New CD... i love the song Dont Blink it makes me cry or almost.. LOL...
            My oldest daughter is in ROTC at Russell.. Talk about the memories.. i just hope she finds the comfort and friends that i had when i was there.. She will be 16 in March.. Where the hell did all the time go?
            I pray everyday for the freaking WAR to end ..before we loose any more lifes in this senseless mess that our lovely goverment has thrown us into.. (allen I m keeping you in my thoughts daily) and all those whom are there i dont know..
            ok i know ..thats a little random for even me.. but as you see while im writing this im fighting to stay awake while my children get ready for school since the pain in my body has kept sleep away.. so the NEWS is on !! mainly to watch the weather.. but anyway...
            For all of you whom i havent physically seen or spoken to in a while ( either via telephone, email or internet .. or even in person) I miss you my friends... i hope all is well for you.. take care.. and if you ever need someone i am here (Heather thats for you too... SOrry about all you have had to endure..) Call me .. you should have my cell if not ill give it you too 606-465-6294
            ok i am off here to get the kids a moving... love ya all
            Rata
            Posted by at No comments:

            language may be somewhat offensive to others but it is true emotion..


            TO MY BEAUTIFUL SISTER...

            Current mood:melancholy
            Ok , Peoples... I am in the most reflective mood .. I guess its because it was30 Years ago (8th Aug 77) that Lisa La Dawn , my beautiful sister was born in to this world..For those of you who knew her, knew the wonderful light that she brought into this world. How her smile and laughter would light up the room, yet each year with the celebration of her birth, of her life, the vast cold reminder of how much we have lost is slammed into my face and heart.
            For just three days after she turned 18 on (11 Aug 95) she was taken in a drinking and driving accident.That accident permantly changed my family forever, it changed our lives our hearts and souls.... She may be gone but there are reminders from her that I find in my life daily. I see her actions in my children who two of them never meet her... In her friends memories she lives on.. Her best friend named her daughter after her.. I named my daughter after her.. in a way she has became immortal.. for as long as we are living, loving, her she isnt gone.. she is still with us... and in my heart she is protecting my children when I cant..

            Enought of my ranting.. I'll let you go... take care .. love ya.. all..

            and
                                               HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA LADAWN STEVENS
                                                 8-8-77- 8-11-95
            6:19 AM



            Jason & Crys     *HUG*                           

            4 years ago



            •  

              My Babys Birthday...

              Current mood:loved
              hey people today my baby turned 10... this is the baby that wasnt suppose to live 12 hrs... im soo glad but in some warped way im sad.. sad that my baby is slowing losing her childhood and turning into a teenager on me.. Hell . thats all i need another teenager...  but i happy that shes a lively happy person.. so SA-RAI ...Happy Birthday ..mommy and daddy loves u!!!
              11:00 PM

              • Happiness is... a CHOICE!!!!!

              Current mood:nostalgic
              " for a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin- real life.but there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished buisness, time still to be served, a debt to be paid, at last it dawned upon me that these obstacles were my life this perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness.. happiness is the way..so treasure every moment you have and remeber that time awaits for noone..HAPPINESS IS A JOURNEY, NOT A DESINATION...(souza)"

              I guess what I am trying to say is that in this life there is no "do-overs" we get one chance to live our life to the fullest.. an yet many of us our still living our life for someone else.. loving someone (or in reality) dying day by day because the "people" in our life said that this was the way to happiness.. how many times to we make a choice, a decison  then half way through it we find out how wrong it was , or how bad it truly sucks... then we stick to it...not out of love but out of fear.. out of not wanting to Disappoint the people in our lives.. Well .. thats all well and good ..but when it comes down to taking our final breathe ... we will be the only one with the "instant replay" of our life...we will be the only one with regrets.. SO take it from me and live your life by your own rules..by your own Choices... love ya all...
              1:35 AM



              Jason & Crys     HOORAAH                           

              4 years ago




                ALANA IS SICK ....

                Current mood:crushed
                    Ok .. I am midly freaking out..but Alana and I have been to the ER most the night due to the potassium levels in her blood being too low...that caused her to pass out.. AT least that is what they are telling me .. but this is a kid who has seizures and two strokes in the last two years....not addin in the complex migraines and the depression from the strokes andthe long term illness..
                they check her blood levels regularly because of certain meds shes on an never a problem b4...but yet there is one now..we are not hopsitalized yet but that is till something that COULD happen considering all of this affects her sezuires and migraines...

                I know im ranting but when my kids get sick (espically this one) I fall a part , i loose it..so everyone that cares ..please send us postive thoughts , prayers , healing... is what we need.. I ll try to keep you all posted but right as i type this shes lying asleep in my bed with a complex seziure/ migraine... and reverted back to a 3 yr old... so my life is very choatic to say the least ..plus i have a HUD inspection in the morning that if i dont PASS ill loose my HUD.. and it cant be rescheduled no matter what...
                so again sorry about the rant... but.. im offically loosing it.. (Sorry Lynda if i got u into trouble  ... i love u ) ...
                9:20 AM

                Rata Lynn Stevens- Robi…ok.. just wanted to play catch up.. right now..ALANA is doing good health wise.. she is currently getting ready for HARRY POTTER world wind to start.. with the release of the 5th movie and the LAST book.. keep is in your thoughs and prayers..                           

                4 years ago

                MT 122 HELL ...

                Current mood:ecstatic
                MT 122 HELL IS OVER !! I PASSED IT!!!!
                Posted by at No comments:

                language may be somewhat offensive to others but it is true emotion..

                A Fun Filled Family day

                Current mood:sleepy
                Well today was Easter... and i spent alot of it waitnig in line to go to dinner with my inlaws... It was thier idea to eat at GREENBO LODGE AN RESORT!!! It was soo choatic... but the meal was good.. then me and my honey came back home an took a nap ..since the kids were still with the inlaws.. (they went to church) in the evening.. Last night was one of the first nights we had alone time.. without any kids.. usually its the teenager but even she was gone.. i will tell u when u have been raising kids for soo long u dont know how to behave when they are gone.. but it was nice just to lay here and watch tv.. cook if i wanted too .. just nice alone and quiet time.. Damn i love my life..(atleast today)
                9:39 AM

              • Define a Friend...

                Current mood:pensive
                Is a friend someone who has known you forever?? Is a friend someone who you can call in the middle of the night as your world falls apart.. Is a friend going to always be there for you no matter how many miles your apart or no matter how long ago it was since you last spoke?? We recieve a lot of Forwarded emails daily on the subject of friends.. But do we even understand the defination of "Friends" .
                I have had some of my Friends for over half my life.. and thats pretty amazing since I am in my thirties.. There are some of my friends that stood by me thorugh the storms of life..an yet there are some whom I've just meet.  I know what I want in a friend. I want someone who will ALWAYS be honest with me , even if I dont want to hear it.. I want someone who I can trust my innermost thoughts too, and I want someone who will stand by me when the world is dark and grey. I want someone who would literally stand by myside even If i was going through the deepest darkest pits of HELL...
                For i would do the same for you.. I expect nothing out of a friend that I am not willing to give of myself.. I know life gets busy, and we barely have enough time for our family but I think we need to make time for the people in our lives that we love and tell them..because one day we may not get that chance. I know at times you can feel abandoned from your friends because they are so busy or they have other friends but lets not be acting like a bunch of middle schoolers. I firmly believe that people come and go as we walk our paths and they are brought into your life we you need them the most.. I may not have talked to you my dear friends as often as i would like but i do love and cherish each of you.. As a friend once told me " Take the memories of our time together and wrap them around you like a giant cocoon , when our paths stray in life" *Ja Eric . I may have totally screwed that one up .. but you told me that long ago an I still live by it****
                SO I guess I will quit ranting about and try to find sleep.. Just take my musing to heart , think about how its applied to each of our lives.. is there something you would want to change before its too late??? Some of you I Havent seen in years, years but i love you as much today as i did when we spoke everyday. For you shared a very special part of my life and I will never forget that or you!!! Until next time..
                 

                Happy Birthday Baby...

                Current mood:happy
                Ok.. she's not a baby an would kill me for saying so but anyway shes my baby an always will be.. For those of you who know me in the "real" world...MY oldest turns 15 day... cant believe that she that old .. and Damn do I really feel old now.. 
                3:48 PM


                • Calendar.....

                8:23 PM
                Posted by at No comments:

                Friday, March 18, 2011

                language may be somewhat offensive to others but it is true emotion..

                Spring Break and Friends..

                Current mood:relaxed
                One of my dearest friends and I went to the YMCA yesterday.. we hung out in the pool an HOT TUB.. it was like  75 degrees yesterday and it was nice.. I really loved spending time with my friend.. i dont know what i would do without them right now.. Its almost 8 oclock in the morning, raining like cats an dogs outside and 63 degrees out side. .IM READY for spring !!! Lets go.. no more cold or snow.. well enough ranting about the weather.. Im gonna go back to sleep while i can.. i couldnt get to sleep until like 4 am and had to get hte girls up at 6 am.. nite nitey people...
                7:55 AM
                Heather Renee     Hey there, give me a shout, things have calmed down here, thought about going to the YMCA yesterday too! lol! Me and my neice were going to go. Miss you like crazy!                           

                3 years ago

                Fibromyalgia Pain:the power behind words...

                mood:nauseatedFor those of you out there who know me well know that this is someithing Ive been battling forever... and im getting tired.. There are times when this is liveable , you almost forget its there.. Its like it goes into hiding..and your life is yours again to live.. BUT suddenly it SMACKS you in the head and its back full force.. full of vengence and fury.. for years I have been told it was all in my head.. but who the hell wants to be in constant pain,, who in thier right mind would want to be hyper sentive to clothing, heat or touch... Somethings that feel good tonite might kill me tomorrow...and now the experts say "But after reviewing the research, Richard E. Harris, PhD, and Daniel J. Clauw, MD, write that it is increasingly clear that fibromyalgia is a central nervous system disorder and that patients experience hypersensitivity to pain. There also appears to be a fairly strong genetic component to fibromyalgia and related conditions.
                "It is time for us to move past the rhetoric about whether these conditions are real, and take these patients seriously as we endeavor to learn more about the causes and most effective treatments for these disorders," Harris and Clauw write in the December issue of the journal Current Pain and Headache Reports."
                Let them walk a mile in my shoes.. and then maybe they will find a solution that is half way liveable.. The weekly injecttions of B 12 that are suppose to help and at times it does and other times its like injecting water... (BTW I REALLY HATE NEEDLES!!!!) as i lay here wishing for sleep ... but it hurts to much to try .. so then i decieded to set up an talk to you my dear friends.. im not whining really, i realize that i could have stopped breathing this morining ..that life could always get worse.. but i miss being able to lay down and go to sleep an not feel pain.. i miss not having my legs move unless i want them too.. i miss the days when i didnt have to care about how the bedding felt agaisnt my skin or if i have enough pillows in the bed to help easy the pain.. but i have faith that one day i will find that me again...
                3:10 AM
                Heather Renee     I have been suffering with it for over 9 yrs........some good days and some bad days......I take more medicine than the pharmacy! I feel with you, people just dont understand unless they have it too!                           

                PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON

                Current mood:crushed
                           this came from my aunt
                PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON
                I am sending this to you to see how many actually read their email. Your response will be interesting. Pay attention to what you read. After you have finished reading it, you will know the reason it was sent to you. Here goes:
                ..    People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on. 

                ..  Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.!

                ..
                Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
                ..Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

                ..Send this to every friend that you have on-line, including the person who sent it to you.
                0 Replies - you may need to work on your "people skills"
                2 Replies - you are nice but probably need to be more outgoing
                4 Replies - you have picked your friends well
                6 Replies - you are downright popular
                8 Replies or More - you are totally awesome (and that's probably why you're on MY list)
                I wonder what mine will be.

                10:11 Am Terra ValentineWow There have been so many times that we have relied on each other and I know that now we are still close but we have both been so busy with all that the world has thrown at us lately and we truely need to get back to being there for each other!!! love you and always will  3 years ago

                what defines marriage????

                Current mood:thoughtful
                What defines a marriage.. Is it a ceremony, a religous event or is it the love and commitment that brought two souls together? In my honest opionion everyone is this world should have the right to love whom they love, and have thier lives entwined forever. Whether they choose a ceremony , a piece of paper doesnt make a family... But whom am I to say that your family is better or worse than mine? It s not for me to judge who you love as long as they complete you...
                Several of my friends are in very loving, committed relationships .... with the same sex.. does that make it wrong or immoral??? NOT in my beliefs.. I am soo happy for them that they were able to find love in this fucked up world. I am grateful that theses beatiful souls has found someone to complete them. the other half to thier soul.. That is what is important!!!
                Am I married?? I feel married.. yes at one point in time i went for the relgious ceremony... the piece of paper..but did that make a commitment?? Did that keep me safe from heartache.. NO.. all it did was cost me years of legal battles... because of lies... lies once destroyed my family, my marriage... It took a long time , alot of growin up to get where we are at tonight.. i love him with all my heart... and i know without a shadow of doubt that he loves me.. .Our children and him our my soul.. they are my world.. do i need that piece of paper making him mine in the eyes of the world.. NO not really... i need the commitment, the love that we share.. everything after that is just icing on the cake...s
                sometimes we get soo caught up in rituals , ceremonies and " what is right" we forget the lives and hearts of the people involved. We forget that we are all one human race, that if you cut us we bleed... On the last couple of months i have watched a family that i dearly love fight for its surivial.. a marriage fall apart out of greed.... lives were nearly destroyed and yet they have fought back and won!!! they are stronger than ever and indestructable... Does a mother and father and children define a family? Not nessarliy in my book a family is defiend out of love... A family protects its members from the world, a family loves uncondiontionally , a family will hold you up in the time of darkness, a family is always there for you without judgement and reserve. A family is created by a bond whether that family is a woman, man and children , or two awesome guys ...thats your choice.. its your choice whom you love not mine.. know that i am here if you want to talk.. without judgement.. but always in love..
                Posted by at No comments:

                OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE IS INVOLVED IN THE WRITING PROCESS ...(but that who i was back then..)

                1/18/07 School is in Session

                Current mood:busy
                Hey guys ,
                Just when I thought my life wouldnt, or couldnt get any crazier... SCHOOL for me is in full swing again. I contemplated not attending this semseter . But no matter how crazy my life gets it grounds me , my classes are something i can control and ofcourse there is my friends there.
                So my schedule is as follows on Mon an Wed:  Intro to Social Work
                                                                                       Junievele Deliquency
                                                                  Tues an Thurs : Intro to Philosphy a
                                                          Modern Social Problems ( thats the secound phase of Socialogy that i took last semester. )
                                                                Crazy i know .. but I love it. .an three of my classes have a web assisted incased with them so i turn in all my assignments online , which makes it easier for me since I have angie and Alana's Medical issuses to try to control.. I know i m a control freak..
                Everything is doing awesome for my family, Angie is steadily improving.. its in small doses but atleast we are winning the battle now.. the Kids are getting along more like brothers and sisters now than cousins.. i dont know if thats a good thing or not.. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers thou.. I love ya all .. Sorry for the ramblings..

                i am loved..... or just.......

                Current mood:grateful
                Hey guys,
                i am loved, and highly spoilt by the man in my life.. for those of you who know us.. He bought me a Ford Explorer that i was die for in October  for my birthday.. and i got Sirus for an early present with it...
                An this weekend he bought me a new RAZOR cellphone with blue tooth head set.. since im having to travel so much... * I love that man!!** he spoils me rotten.. oh well enough braggin on my baby...  i know noone cares but me.. but i think when someone treats you well they should be thank'd and this is as big of a THANK YOU and i could Think of ...
                THANKS BABY.. LOVE U

                UPDATE ...

                Current mood:excited
                OK GUYS,
                Just wanted to UPDATE you all on my aunt , She's still in ICU but not in crtitical conditon. They have taken her off the paryaltical drug, an she may be off the vent by this weekend.. So keep on praying or whatever you choose to do.. SHE has came a long way yet there is still a long way to go.. Since Im juggling her life, my own and school keep the good thoughts flowing for me too... LOVE ya all..
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