More MySpace, somewhat offensive *to the ones who know me know* but honest emotion

 

Jan 5, 2007

Families.....

Current mood:bitchy

Does the blood that flows through our viens family, does a marrigae liceinse mean your family, or is it LOVE that you feel for one another... During this joyous hoilday season , i watch a family be destroyed.
Destroyed  by ANger, Rage, in the mist of the Choas I found something beautiful in all that pain and hurt. I found that love is something that can not be replaced , nor should it be taken for granted. I found that love is something that NEVER HURTS; atleast not unless your KINKY in bed *lol* .. I watched my " brother " who has supposedly loved me my whole life, stab me in the heart over a cousin, I watched my uncle terrify his beautiful daughter and my children. I saw a woman that was beat down , and fought back. I see that very same woman now hooked up to a ventialtor fighting for her life. Yet Raceland COPS come into my house, ask to his this precious child, BECAUSE her "father" has the rights to know where she is at, and if shes Healthy. This is the same "father" that has a standing EPO (Emergency PROtective Order) agaisnt him to supposedly protect his wife and child... WTF is wrong with that picture. Just because you an CUM inside a woman and knock her up doesnt make you a Father!! I have no mercy in my life for anyone who sets out to destroy another life, whether they use fist, or words its all the same in my book.
SO tonight I Bury my "Brother" Rick and his family by they rest in peace, my the THings they seek bring them comfort, for my door is forever closed. I also Bury my " Uncle" Tony, may he one day realize and feel all the pain that he has caused his children in his lifetime.. These are people that i have LOVED dearly and they may still be breathing and walking around in this great big planet of mine but to me they are dead.. For they valued "things" more than life, more than the life of thier Family...
In the begining of this rant  I asked you what is family, does a marrigae create a family, or is it the blood that flows through your viens. I personally believe that I dont need some goverment offical to tell me that im loved , or that they are my family. An in my life the people that share the same blood line as myself is also the very same ones that FUCKED me ... So if I have told you I love you I mean it, If i havent than dont ask you may not like your answer you get.. Keep me and my " FAMILY" in your thoughts.. Blessed Be..

10:32 Am Heather Renee I can not begin to understand what makes a person do the things they do. and for the most part, I dont want to understand, then I would be on their level. Paper doesnt make you someones husband/wife, uncle/aunt, daughter/son, all it is paper.....whats it good for? starting fires! causing problems!  How you feel for someone, what they mean to you, the bonds that bind you to them, that is what counts. I am here dear friend, if you need me just call, if its just to talk, go out to eat, or to bitch about life! Take care and peace be with you!

OK ITS CHRISTMAS EVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Current mood:naughty

I know its been a while since Ive sit down to this computer and poured my soul out for the whole world to see. BUt with school and being a full time parent, I honestly havent had the time. An I would write a hell of alot more if I knew someone out there was listening..
I personally hate the idea of CHRISTMAS !! THE CHRISTANS HAVE GOTTEN IT ALL WRONG AGAIN!!  Yet , for some fucked  up reason I gave my children a basics of Christanity when I was non-practing,( you would have to live in my town to truly understand why so dont judge) I think they need a basis then they see how I live my live an choose for themselves.
Anyway, to me Christmas has become over done, its all about what plp get not being together and loving people.So to my friends out there I truly do love you , thanks you for always being their and my we have many more years to come..
For those of you whom I havent met... Why is that? Lets change that in the year 2007... Take Care to you all.. Love and Blessed Be...

Nov 9, 2006

testing

Current mood:nauseated

Hey guys,
I have to have some major testing for the doctors here because they are freakin stupid.. so keep me in ur thoughts today... and since i have only 4 wks left in this semster keep me in ur thoughts !! love u all an i ll try to catch everyone up in my hellish life later. love ya

Nov 1, 2006

Define Family

Current mood:aggravated

What defines a  family? Is it your parents , brothers, sisters or is it your lover, children , husband or wife? Is it your truest friends or is blood relation a must?
I personally believe that we define our own family, that it is the people that we love and love us in return. I know that your family is the people who help in your creation, who share the blood that runs through your veins, but I also believe that it is people who stands beside you. Who love you know matter what you do. These are the people that you can call in the middle of the night and who would be there.
So why must these people sometimes destory what they helped created? Why arent children allowed to grow up and maintain thier own life without creating a whole hell of alot of pain..at least those of us who are stupid enough not to move away. .. granted iknow these questions are not the same for everyone..but this is about me and my life..These are the questions that race through my mind.. will i only find peace ... will I only be allowed to live my life and raise my family to my abiltiy out side of ky..prolly... cause my family destorys me daily all in the name of love.. and its not love.. its pain.. its hellish .. i am a thiry two year old mother of three who is still expected to live her life to her parents expectations and by god if i do something they dont agree with then my life is hell..my mother tries to rule my life more now than she did when i was a teenager.... what the fuck is up with that??? and my children are mine..NOONE ELES!! back off if you love me or you may loose me forever...