OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE IS INVOLVED IN THE WRITING PROCESS ...(but that who i was back then..)

Feb 14, 2007

Golden Anniversary 25 years......Later

Current mood:annoyed

Shortly around this time 25 years ago my Nanny was calling her family , her children, brothers and sisters and step mother.. to tell them how much she loved them... then she went to bed  never to awake on this side of eternity again... Yet  I clearly remember her telling me how much she loved me , my sister , an my two cousins.. how we were and always will be her babies... how she would always be there for us .. only to awake from slumber to find her GONE...
You maybe gone from this world physically but we can still be connected . Still be one family... yet i guess with battle Ive been dancing with death has me looking back on this in a wierd sense of reality.. how would my Nanny feel to know that twenty five years later... insted of being one united family we are all divided and conquered... instead of love this family thrives on pain of others , hate , and many addictions that i care not to name.. It shames me that the family she loved is all gone.. we died that night on Feb 13 1982...
There have been many changes since that night .. her children have grown into middle age adults with children of their own and some with grandchildren.... Her oldest son went to be with her long ago, then my sister her granddaughter, shortly after she was joined by brothers, sister , and mother that raised her... I am no longer a 7 year old child, but a mother of three of my own .. i use to be able to say that we all were a united family but familes dont destroy you.. My daughter has a saying that " friends are GODS apology for family" in the truest sense i have experianced that and understand that depths that is forged from.. There are very few in this family that i actaully give a damn about or give a damn about me ..but then there are you my friends.. that i love dearly an would do anything for ..
Anna Lee Short CLark was born on March 5th 1932 and she died on Feb 13 1982 .. she was a mother of seven , grandmother of 4 and barely 50 years old. I dont understand how the Kindest , loving people have to leave this world while they are people who destroy all the goodness around them are still allowed to walk this world... 
Frankie Maxine Short Gibbs ,was born August 6th and died on April 29th 2002....she was mother of 2 grandmother of 4 ( i may not have physically came from her but she was my mother, she raised me , she called me her daughter...) she was sixty four i think.. she seemed much younger....
PAUL RODNEY Clark he was born on May of 1954 and died June 28 1990... father of 2 beautiful girls....now the grandfather of 4 beautiful boys whom he has never been able to meet...
Lisa LaDawn Stevens born August 8th 1977 died August 11 1995 she had turned 18 just three days before.. she was my ONLY sister, at the time of her death she was an aunt of 1 .... now she is of 3 that she will never meet...
Mabel Irene Callihan SHort.. born July 17 1904 ( i ve heard it was actually 1900)Died Jan 12 2005 mother of 12, grand mother to too many to count, great grand mother and great great grandmother....
These are my heros ,, these are the people that i PROUDLY call my family.. they may be gone but NEVER forgotten...the rest i dont care of ...because im tired of the BACKSTABBING .. LYING.. BULLSHIT!!!! Im tired of being hurt out of the name of love.. love me , hate me.. i really dont care.. just leave me alone... leave my family alone..(that message is for a select few..) if your reading this your NOT on that list... love ya...sorry for the rant..but...I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!!

12:16 AM

 

Heather ReneeRata,  I know your family has hurt you over and over. For this I am sorry, remember I am here, if you need me for anything I am here. I wish you peace my dear friend~Blessings Heather Ren'ee~

• Reply
• ·

3 years ag

 

 

Feb 1, 2007

Goodbye....Dear Friend

Goodbye,
Its has came time for me to say my final goodbye, I dont know if you will ever see this .But it is something I must do for me , for me to be able  to let you go. To block your essence from my dreams, so that my soul will no longer weep for you. Ive known your my whole life or so it seems . We were closer than two people could be; a connection that knew no bounds of space and time but its all over now..
I would have always loved you, and stood behind you but you choose to destroy us, destory our Friendship. An it is me that has to be set free. Some people wish that they have the abilty to see things in dreams, or to be soo  connected to another person that they feel them when they arent even there. I find this to be my curse, a prison that I have been exiled to since that day. Well I have issused my own release. I am setting myself free , free from the pain of missing you, free from the pain of worrying if your ok .
I wish you the very best life possible, I wish for you to find what your seeking. I wish for you to love and be loved. But most of all I wish for your tortured soul to find peace. And if i never speak to you again while we roam this planet, do know that I will always care for you ( you cant spend a lifetime with someone and not) but I bind you from my mind, I bind your from soul these are places that you no longer have access to .. An its been my choice hoping that you would call and our "FRIENDSHIP" could have been saved. OH WELL!!!
GOODBYE my dear friend I wish you well .
            

1:32 AM

Terra Valentinedamn i think i should of done this tooo for me and well the other ass lol ....what brought this on

Torture deviceJan 31, 2007

Well we were in Lexington and it wasnt for a good visit... unforunatly it will be postive in about a year from now..BUTS it's very PAINFUL now... I was i lex for our 8and half hrs yesterday... the doctors are saying doing the course of this year she will have the upper half of braces installed and then after this device comes off she will have the bottom on so WHO Knows how LONG she will have braces on... so my baby is on a soft diet for now.. but she loves having the jello, pudding all to her self...JAN 

 

1/18/07 School is in Session

Current mood:busy

Hey guys ,
Just when I thought my life wouldnt, or couldnt get any crazier... SCHOOL for me is in full swing again. I contemplated not attending this semseter . But no matter how crazy my life gets it grounds me , my classes are something i can control and ofcourse there is my friends there.

So my schedule is as follows on Mon an Wed:  Intro to Social Work

                                                                       Junievele Deliquency

                                                  Tues an Thurs : Intro to Philosphy a

                                          Modern Social Problems ( thats the secound phase of Socialogy that i took last semester. )

                                                Crazy i know .. but I love it. .an three of my classes have a web assisted incased with them so i turn in all my assignments online , which makes it easier for me since I have angie and Alana's Medical issuses to try to control.. I know i m a control freak..

Everything is doing awesome for my family, Angie is steadily improving.. its in small doses but atleast we are winning the battle now.. the Kids are getting along more like brothers and sisters now than cousins.. i dont know if thats a good thing or not.. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers thou.. I love ya all .. Sorry for the ramblings..

Jan 16, 2007

i am loved..... or just.......

Current mood:grateful

Hey guys,
i am loved, and highly spoilt by the man in my life.. for those of you who know us.. He bought me a Ford Explorer that i was die for in October  for my birthday.. and i got Sirus for an early present with it...
An this weekend he bought me a new RAZOR cellphone with blue tooth head set.. since im having to travel so much... * I love that man!!** he spoils me rotten.. oh well enough braggin on my baby...  i know noone cares but me.. but i think when someone treats you well they should be thank'd and this is as big of a THANK YOU and i could Think of ...
THANKS BABY.. LOVE U

UPDATE ...Jan 16, 2007

Current mood:excited

OK GUYS,
Just wanted to UPDATE you all on my aunt , She's still in ICU but not in crtitical conditon. They have taken her off the paryaltical drug, an she may be off the vent by this weekend.. So keep on praying or whatever you choose to do.. SHE has came a long way yet there is still a long way to go.. Since Im juggling her life, my own and school keep the good thoughts flowing for me too... LOVE ya all..